I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
