He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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