I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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