Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
