I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
