Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
