Already got asked if we're dating
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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