Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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