"it" just moved
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
