yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
