if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
