Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
