On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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