i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
love makes seman taste better
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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