glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
