I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
