Porn is love you can see.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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