This is not my ceiling
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
