for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
