is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I love you.
Bad choice
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