He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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