she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dick very happy bro
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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