The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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