my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
