I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
