I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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