I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
