I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
