there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
