Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
