Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
