there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
