he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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