i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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