at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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