Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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