they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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