News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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