: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
