Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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