Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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