I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
