GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
