Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
