I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
