I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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