nut hugger
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
