just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
