I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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