dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
