So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
