NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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