Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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