Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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