If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
