Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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